I’m deeply remorseful about taking Thanksgiving week off. I have lots of excuses, but rather than recount them all, I’m just going to point your attention to the photo at left, which shows what my guest bathroom looked like 15 minutes before Thanksgiving Day guests arrived. I had left Hot Firefighter Husband in charge while Read More
1. Today I am going to take down the Halloween decorations, and I mean it. I’m also going to call one of those lame-o seasonal business guys who’ll put up Christmas lights and take them down. Therefore I must also insist that Hot Firefighter Husband change the light bulbs in the house so I can Read More
Some of you perhaps are still reeling from the information that I haven’t been feeding my son (see 11/17 entry below). As an update, please note that after six days of force-feeding him every two hours, his tantrums have abated. I’m impressed at what he eats. Normally when he gets home from school I give Read More
The Pterodactyl will be five in a couple of weeks, but he’s having trouble outgrowing the terrible twos. His tantrums have become legendary, although his teachers claim he’s the sweetest, most disciplined child to ever walk the earth. He can be. And then he can beat the shit out of the garage door with a Read More
A writer friend (Can I call you a friend, Ess? I feel like we had a connection.) told me of recently being at a social event with a bunch of Stuffyheads. In talking to one of them, she learned that the woman was on the board of a local bank. Making conversation, she asked Ms. Read More
The Tyrant is 3 now, and appears to be very bright. She can put tiny little stickers along the lines of a black triangle. She can also draw people, all of whom look like potatoes with tentacles and several eyes. The Pterodactyl will be five next month, and he wrote a book this morning. He Read More
The Diva has learned to ride a bicycle. She’s eight years old, and should have learned a long time ago, but she’s a bit of a perfectionist and doesn’t like to do anything until she’s sure she can be good at it. The upside is that it only took her about five minutes to figure Read More
Hello, good morning, hi and bye. In case you’re puzzled, my name is I. I hate my name, it seems so plain. I wish it was Katherine, or maybe Jane. If ever I marry, I’ll marry a me. He’ll hate his name, too, just wait and see. It was the first poem I ever wrote, Read More
Cat crap must be salty. My dog, Damn Gem, loves cat crap. The vet says it’s sort of like an hors d’oeuvre for her, which of course makes me think she should be put down. But we love her, and she’s doesn’t mind at all when the Tyrant tries to put hair bands on her Read More
The Pterodactyl wanted his little sister’s purse this morning, her pink shiny purse with the enormous heart-shaped rhinestone buckle. She carries it everywhere. It usually contains her Teddy, an old remote control she uses as a cell phone, and something ridiculously inappropriate like a screwdriver. “That’s hers,” I told him. “Do you want a purse? Read More
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