Well. Let there be no doubt regarding the influence I hold over Hot Firefighter Husband. He has sold the God-Damned Yellow Jeep. It is gone. There will be no more cursing when the windows can’t be found during a rainstorm, no more screeching of gears when I (accidentally!) shift incorrectly. There will also be no Read More
WTF! is a new feature in which I introduce a photo that I’d like you to analyze. WTF! stands for “What the fuck makes you think this okay?” The picture below shows the inside of my freezer at this very moment. Earlier this week, on a hot afternoon, I found myself in need of an Read More
My monthly solicitation for Questions of Interest yielded some curious fruit. Magnus, only REAL vampires burst into flames when in the sun, and vampires are only REAL when Jagermeister is in the house. Or MD 20/20, take your pick. Josh, I did not tell you about Trombone Shorty because I can’t remember things, which is Read More
I think I broke my little pinky toe. Now the top of my foot is blue and my pinky toe looks like a fat bald mouse. And of course I keep tripping over the dog, the toy recycling truck, the children, whatever – and re-banging the shit out of the broken toe, which hurts like Read More
I just ate a sandwich with a tomato from my very own vegetable garden, and it was so awesome I feel drunk. I don’t particularly like tomato by itself, but when it’s reasonably sweet and slathered with mayonnaise and sprinkled with salt, OH MY GOD, it’s better than an Oreo. Pair it with a nice Read More
The school year ended yesterday with a bang. Specifically, the bang of a balloon popping. Okay, the bang of me popping a balloon. But the Pterodactyl had let the blue balloon fly up into oblivion, so he only had one of the pink ones that his sister had given him, and when I declined to Read More
Near the end of my first semester at the University of Notre Dame, during finals week, it occurred to my friends and me that we had not studied enough for our theology exam, which was the next day. We could have pulled an all-nighter. We could have gone to a planned study session. Or we Read More
Yesterday I became a fan of China’s one-child policy. I spent the day traveling to Chicago with the Pterodactyl, leaving the girls in the hands of their father, and am now convinced that a country with a majority of one-child families would lead to a more peaceful, stable environment for all. There would be less Read More
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