As I write this, I’m looking out the window at the levee, and if I step outside I can smell Lake Pontchartrain. Yesterday I ate charbroiled oysters from Drago’s and today I slurped a snoball and went to the the AUDUBON ZOO, which is the best zoo IN THE WORLD because of Monkey Hill. I Read More
In an ongoing effort to make my blog more friendly and appealing to you, generous readers, I’ve embarked on a journey to improve and expand site features. Soon you’ll be able to purchase pornographic videos directly from this spot! Okay, no, that program hasn’t been finalized yet. Seriously, though, I’m adding some Visual Enhancements. Soon Read More
Last Saturday was the second day of spring soccer. The Diva couldn’t play because she had a temperature of 103. The Pterodactyl wouldn’t play because the Diva couldn’t play. And get this: the Tyrant said she wouldn’t play because, “I’m shy.” Two hours later at the frozen yogurt store, she said, “Watch this, guys!” and Read More
When I was 7 years old, my parents bought some property in the country and renovated the old shambles of a cabin that sat there. We spent weekends of our childhood there, often inviting friends and families to spend long afternoons playing football in the pecan orchard and riding Big Red, Dad’s crazy skittish horse. Read More
Once a week, I teach a journalism class at a local university. I’m an instructor. But the students think I’m a professor, and that’s okay with me because I like to profess things. It’s a wonderful opportunity for me to expound on my various ideologies regarding the media, world leaders, Charlie Sheen, and the theoretical Read More
Fourth week of plague. Fifth sick kid. Gentle reminder: I only have three children. I suspect we should move to a hotel and have the house fumigated. Strep. Strep! It must be everywhere – on the counters, the remote control, the handle that opens the freezer. The dog’s ears. I thought it was over last Read More
Dear Japan – Right now, I’m thinking how strange it is that we share the same sky. I’m looking up into the blueness, and realizing that, for you, it’s the only direction you can gaze for a momentary glimpse of normalcy. The magnitude of your suffering can’t be measured by words or even pictures. We Read More
Who brings a 4-year-old with strep throat and a 102.5 temperature out to dinner? Oh. Um…that would be us. But it was Kids Eat Free night! And she didn’t actually have (much of a) fever when we left. Soon after we sat down, though, I noticed that she was shaking like Jennifer Lopez’s booty and Read More
Dear Tricia, I don’t have time to read blogs. What’s the point? Sincerely, Most People in America Dear Mosty, Oh, brother, do I feel your pain! I don’t have time to read blogs, either! Just yesterday, my morning went like this: Wake up. GET ME DRESSED! My socks are on the wrong feet. NOSEBLEED! NOSEBLEED! Read More
I received the call around noon that day. It had been perfect boating weather — 80 degrees, blue skies. It was also a perfect day for….MURDER! And skinny-dipping, apparently. I was the first responder on the scene. I had been sipping my Caramel Macchiato and perusing People magazine (Don’t Charlie Sheen’s eyes look crooked?) when Read More
Recent Comments