Reminder: The questions posed in this occasional column are written by actual people. Dear Savvy Sister, Please help me with my sick, sick joke of an early-twenties love life. I am a smart, clean, educated, reasonably attractive woman with a dog. Sincerely, Lone Sharkette Dear Lone Sharkette, You’re clean? Well, that’s the problem. Pick up Read More
Great Balls of Dog Hair, this blog is so much work. Really. Like right now, at 6:37 am on a Saturday morning, all I want to do is scroll through Facebook and read about how John Travolta is gay, and I’m stuck here with a blank screen trying to come up with something funny/poignant/revealing/life-altering to Read More
What? Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there waiting. I’ve been busy looking for ways to upend my life. Because that’s what I do when I’m nervous. I’ve got some Guillot in me – Guillot was my grandmother’s name – and thus am a direct descendent of the Nerveenas, a group of women like my Read More
For the past year or so, we’ve limited Teddy’s access to the outside world. Frankly, we’d become weary of his/her constant wandering, and the exhausting ritual of finding him/her before bedtime. The Tyrant has no ability to keep track of her dearest belonging. Us: Did you bring Teddy to the gym? Did Teddy go outside Read More
On the way home from Cape Cod, we stopped to visit friends in the Garden State, so I pushed my boobs, like, way up high and we went to the Jersey Shore. AND I SAW SNOOKI! Not really. But all those people look alike, you know? After two days in Joisey, we embarked on the Read More
You can take the boy on vacation, but the Attachment Disorder comes along for the ride. He has generally been in great spirits – happy and loving and compliant. Still, every couple of days, the enormity of his circumstances bubbles up and overflows – the lack of routine, the new people, the absence of television Read More
Well, I am sorry to report that things are not going nearly as badly as expected. Currently, I am one with the earth, communing with nature, complete with pond-swimming, organic vegetables, and baby swallows nesting in a chicken coop. We are so content, in fact, that when I mention (again and again) selling our house Read More
For your information: young children dosed with melatonin will sleep uncomfortably in a traveling van for right at about 5.5 hours. Cool, yeah? Yes, indeedy. Until that sixth hour, at which point it may or may not be 3 am, and may or may not be time to fuel up the car. If the stars Read More
“This is the most ill-conceived vacation plan you’ve ever had,” said BFF. “What?” I said. “Shut up.” Because when you’ve been friends with a girl for 17 years, you can talk to her like that. “Seriously. You cannot do this,” she said. “Seriously. Just shut up.” “You’re going to get up there and sell the Read More
When I was a child, I thought grown-ups didn’t really sleep – that they just rested in bed with their eyes closed. My evidence was the fact that when I approached my mom in the middle of the night, all I had to do was whisper her name and she’d be instantly, groggily awake. I Read More
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