If you are alone with your three young children on a Saturday night and committed to a gluten-free, dairy-free eating plan and have had no social invitations, here’s a low-maintenance option: let your 6-year-old apply gobs of eyeliner, visit a Japanese restaurant so your kids can pretend to be almost on fire, then teach them Read More
Day Four without a shower. I almost took one last night but I couldn’t find a clean towel. And I’m not picky, people – I mean I couldn’t find a towel that didn’t smell like mildew, pee, or peanut butter. I like peanut butter, but I’m not one to spread it all over my body. Read More
And here’s another problem with Facebook – it makes me feel bad about my life. It takes no more than a 15-minute perusal of status updates to convince me that I’m raising my children badly, not eating enough vegetables, don’t have enough friends, haven’t read enough books, and have totally screwed up my writing career. Read More
What? Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there waiting. I’ve been busy looking for ways to upend my life. Because that’s what I do when I’m nervous. I’ve got some Guillot in me – Guillot was my grandmother’s name – and thus am a direct descendent of the Nerveenas, a group of women like my Read More
The other day after teaching a boxing class, some friends and I were walking to our cars and someone said, “I don’t know how you do it. Teach, I mean.” I turned to one of the women and said, “Drop down and do five push-ups.” Her: Huh? Me: Just do it. Do five push-ups. Her: Read More
Yes, yes, today is Friday, and you should be reading Chapter 10 of Firebush. But peeps, I’m just not feeling it. I’ll tell you this: the letters are from Sterling’s mother. That should hold you until tomorrow. But for today, I want to talk about how a woman’s work (WARNING: WILDLY HYPERBOLIC STEREOTYPE AHEAD) is Read More
The questions in this occasional column come from actual people. Dear Savvy Sister, My son turns 4 at the beginning of December-but says he refuses to turn 4 because he knows it means no more diapers to poop into. I need advice on how to get him to look forward to pooping and age 4 Read More
The My Left Hook family regrets to announce the death of Bluey the Betta Fish, who may have suffocated to death in his own fecespassed away sometime over the past week or so this morning after a hellaciously dismal existence marked by dirty water, food shortages, the threat of foreign objects and occasional evaporation. long Read More
My jaw started hurting last week, like I was waking up with earaches and complaining to Hot Firefighter Husband about 10 times a day. He was all, I know I have two broken ribs, remember? and I was all, okay, enough about the ribs already. Seriously, he can cut the grass, drink tequila, grill steak Read More
The Diva has returned from her exciting solo adventure to visit my parents. She cried her first night home because she missed them so much. I called my mom to tell her that. “Well,” she said. “We spoiled her a bit. She liked her breakfast served on a tray in the living room.” Really, Mom? Read More
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