In elementary school, while studying the Civil War one day, I raised my hand in class and said, “My dad says that the reason so many black people have the last name Booker is because we were slave owners.” Mrs. Rivera shot back, “That’s nothing to be proud of!” I cried in class that day. Read More
I read The Hunger Games to figure out why I was the only person in North America who hadn’t. Then earlier this week, I saw the movie because I unexpectedly had a babysitter and no plans. And here’s my assessment: The popcorn was excellent. I love popcorn. But here’s the problem with movie popcorn: it’s Read More
Do you read Part I? You really should. Click here. So yes, the Handyman reminds me of an Ex, who was also a brooding blue collar Hottie who liked Budweiser, smoked Marlboros, and had trouble sticking to one woman. Mmmm, mmm. I met him while working on the Mississippi Queen steamboat, cruising the length Read More
NOTE: Hot Firefighter Husband finally has released the Embargoed Post! And I adore him for it. In return, I’ve agreed to a handful of sexual favors. At last month’s book club meeting, we discussed E.L. James’ runaway bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey. You may recall that this was not my choice. I wanted to read Read More
My book club peeps wanted to read The Paris Wife by Paula McLain. I did not. But I don’t make waves because they graciously allowed me to join their group after my last book club experiment ended with me crying in a driveway. So I read The Paris Wife, and I loved it, which is Read More
Here are the first two lines of the novel Little Bee by Chris Cleave: Most days I wish I was a British pound coin instead of an African girl. Everyone would be pleased to see me coming. Holy shit, right? I know! So I kept reading, and what unfolded was the most enthralling, poignant, provocative Read More
HOLY SHEETS, this was SOOOO much better than dreaming I was Mary Ingalls! I was still on some sort of ship but this time I was with BRAD PITT! YUP! ME! Brad and I were hanging out, then he escorted me to his cabin. He told me to go to bed. He had some studying Read More
Dear Casey Anthony, You and me are done with each other. As you may recall, I blame you for having to introduce my daughter to the concept of a mother killing her own child. Since the jury failed to convict you, my daughter thinks you’re not guilty, so now I have to introduce her to Read More
There’s something a little intoxicating about the idea of purchasing a spouse. Hear me out. NOTE TO THE DUBIOUS: I’m not referring to situations in which women (or men) are extracted from poverty and despair to serve as sex slaves and household help. Imagine a store in which potential spouses line the aisle along with Read More
Occasionally, I drink too much. In the old days, that meant consuming three beers in four seconds flat using a beer bong, or playing quarters (CHAMPION NOSE HERE)!, or drinking jungle juice mixed in a garbage can. But now I’m older and wiser and my Voice of Maturity says, “IF YOU HAVE A FOURTH GLASS Read More
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