Of all the nonsense surrounding the Hilary Rosen/Ann Romney debacle, Catholic numnut Bill Donohue brought home the bacon.

In case you’ve just emerged from a secluded Tanzinian cave – and if you have, please email the name of your travel agent – here’s the scoop: Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen STOOPIDLY said that Mitt Romney should stop taking economic advice from his wife because “she never worked a day in her life.” Ann Romney shot back that she chose to raise five children instead of having a career. Now the Republicans are all BLAH BLAH liberals don’t appreciate motherhood BLAH BLAH BLAH mothers have the hardest job BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH and the Democrats are all OH FOR THE LOVE OF THE ALMIGHTY DELEGATE, HILARY, REALLY?

Bill Donohue runs the Catholic League, a “civil rights” organization founded in 1973. Because, you know, Catholics suffer a lot. REMEMBER THIS FACT:  At the Academy of the Sacred Heart, where I attended high school, our mascot was The Rosary. We were hugely maligned for that.

I wish I could dismiss Bill Donohue, 64, as a lone voice in the crowd, but he’s more prominent than that. He’s a frequent television contributor to conversations about politics and religion, and the Catholic League is the leading voice of conservative Catholics. He holds a doctorate in sociology from New York University, and – ironically – is divorced. SIN.

Also, he apparently learned how to Tweet. So he tweeted this:

“Lesbian Dem Hilary Rosen tells Ann Romney she never worked a day in her life. Unlike Rosen, who had to adopt kids, Ann raised 5 of her own.”

Let’s pause here. HOLY CRAP, THAT IS SUCH A GREAT QUOTE I HAVE TO RUN IT AGAIN.

“Lesbian Dem Hilary Rosen tells Ann Romney she never worked a day in her life. Unlike Rosen, who had to adopt kids, Ann raised 5 of her own.”

BWAHAHAHAH! And in this way, Bill Donohue inadvertently makes the case for Catholics to revisit their stance against the death penalty. Holy Shezaam, did I just recommend that Bill Donohue be executed? Yes. Yes, I did. JOKING! But seriously.

Because I’m such an excellent writer and editor, please allow me to paraphrase the undercurrent of Donohue’s awesome quote:

Ha, ha! Ann Romney had real kids! But Hilary Rosen couldn’t get pregnant because she’s all fruity, so she got stuck with the losers whose own parents didn’t even want them. 

Do I sound bitter? I’m not bitter. Maybe just a little bitter. But mostly I’m incredulous that a man of Donohue’s profile and stature can remain so callous and ignorant.

So in the interest of public education, let me just remind Dr. Donohue and his minions of a few relevant facts:

1. Lesbian Dems are not an official subgroup of the Democratic Party.

2. My children, who were adopted as infants, ARE MY OWN. I actually own them, the way anybody might own a child. I have paperwork. They’re like indentured servants. Just because they never took up residence in my belly doesn’t mean I can’t make them clear the table, pick up their socks and occasionally rub my feet.

3. People don’t HAVE to adopt kids. Are you kidding? Had we chosen against adoption, we could own half of the Dominican Republic right now. I’d be retired. Although to be fair, I don’t really have a job. Except for, you know, RAISING MY KIDS. Again, Hilary Rosen, REALLY? STOOPID, STOOPID, STOOPID.

4. MOST IMPORTANTLY: Adopted children aren’t a consolation prize, people. Got it?

Carry on, peeps! And thank you, Dr. Donohue, for this tremendous opportunity to again skewer the poor maligned Catholics. Keep Tweeting, Sir!