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The Tyrant has become so busy with life that she doesn’t have time to fulfill basic human needs. It’s not an attractive trait.
Yesterday we were outside playing and the Diva fell off her bike and scratched her ankle. Obviously she needed to be carried inside, snuggled on the couch with a blanket, and made [...]
This morning at 6:54, the Tyrant marched into our bedroom and said, “Dad, take me potty.” So Husband took her potty.
Then she crawled into bed with us and made me scratch her back. After the back-scratching I got her a sippy cup with milk, took out the dog, made the coffee, took the Tyrant poopie, [...]
I consider myself a mannerly person, and reasonably pleasant. I say please and thank you, as in “Please, son, the fish does not need you to pet him,” and “Thank you, darling, but I don’t care for that particular piece of gum right now, so put it back in the cupholder.”
I try to avoid being [...]
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The Family Cast The Diva: my 8-year-old drama queen. She has eaten noodles every single day for the past five years, loves her new iPod and hopes to be famous one day. She likes wedge heels and lipstick and Taylor Swift.
The Pterodactyl: he's five. He loves trains, volcanoes, tomatoes, and talking about my boobs. His younger sister's mere existence has ruined his life.
The Tyrant: she's a very bossy three. She curses, throws things, hates wearing underpants and refuses to brush her hair. She knows the words to most Lady Gaga songs.
Hot Firefighter Husband: he loves sports, politics, clean floors and me. He gets really annoyed by laundry, Ann Curry, tapas restaurants and me. He edited this.
Damn Gem: the dog. She eats paper which I end up pulling out of her butt.
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