lipstick « tricia booker's my left hook

Lemon-sucking, floor-cleaning, and other domestic chores

This morning at 6:54, the Tyrant marched into our bedroom and said, “Dad, take me potty.” So Husband took her potty.

Then she crawled into bed with us and made me scratch her back. After the back-scratching I got her a sippy cup with milk, took out the dog, made the coffee, took the Tyrant poopie, [...]

Excuse me, sir, you dilapidated pile of dust

I consider myself a mannerly person, and reasonably pleasant. I say please and thank you, as in “Please, son, the fish does not need you to pet him,” and “Thank you, darling, but I don’t care for that particular piece of gum right now, so put it back in the cupholder.”

I try to avoid being [...]

The Diva: my 8-year-old drama queen. She has eaten noodles every single day for the past five years, loves her new iPod and hopes to be famous one day. She likes wedge heels and lipstick and Taylor Swift.

The Pterodactyl: he's five. He loves trains, volcanoes, tomatoes, and talking about my boobs. His younger sister's mere existence has ruined his life.

The Tyrant: she's a very bossy three. She curses, throws things, hates wearing underpants and refuses to brush her hair. She knows the words to most Lady Gaga songs.

Hot Firefighter Husband: he loves sports, politics, clean floors and me. He gets really annoyed by laundry, Ann Curry, tapas restaurants and me. He edited this.

Damn Gem: the dog. She eats paper which I end up pulling out of her butt.

tricia booker's my left hook

Lemon-sucking, floor-cleaning, and other domestic chores

Excuse me, sir, you dilapidated pile of dust

The Family Cast

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tricia booker's my left hook

Lemon-sucking, floor-cleaning, and other domestic chores

Excuse me, sir, you dilapidated pile of dust

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The Family Cast

Categories

Meta

Spam Blocked