Me: C’mon, baby. Get out of the car. We’re home.
Tyrant: I not a baby. I a princess.
Me: Sorry. C’mon, princess.
Tyrant: We not going home.
Me: You’re right. We’re not home. This is your castle.
Tyrant: (Gasp!) Oh, my castle!
Me: Isn’t it beautiful?
Tyrant: Yes! It’s so beautiful! I got it at Target.
Me: Really?
Tyrant: And yook! I got [...]
The Pterodactyl wants to see a picture of his birth mother, and I don’t want to show it to him.
Now that he’s five, he thinks he has all sorts of rights. He forages through the pantry right before dinner and begins late-night projects involving tape and dental floss.
You know what we do about that? [...]
I’m so tired of Christmas shopping I could die. If I have to go to Target one more time, I will certainly end up in a fetal position in the boxed wine aisle.
We have Santa presents stashed all over the house: under sheets and covered by blankets and high up on shelves. The Diva’s [...]