Last Saturday was the second day of spring soccer. The Diva couldn’t play because she had a temperature of 103. The Pterodactyl wouldn’t play because the Diva couldn’t play. And get this: the Tyrant said she wouldn’t play because, “I’m shy.” Two hours later at the frozen yogurt store, she said, “Watch this, guys!” and Read More
A big scary woman stole part of my eyebrow yesterday, so for a while I’ll have this worried look, like I’m afraid that any minute a light fixture will fall on the kitchen counter, shatter, ruin dinner and blind me. I mean, I do usually have such thoughts, but when both my eyebrows are intact, Read More
Well. Let there be no doubt regarding the influence I hold over Hot Firefighter Husband. He has sold the God-Damned Yellow Jeep. It is gone. There will be no more cursing when the windows can’t be found during a rainstorm, no more screeching of gears when I (accidentally!) shift incorrectly. There will also be no Read More
Earlier this week, I polled several hundred of my close friends to inquire whether they had any questions for me. I received four replies. JayVee asked whether learning cursive was really necessary, Ess asked whether petroleum or battery acid is more deadly to ants, and Magnus Thejester, whose name I am using because it’s so Read More
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